Apology letter to 2020

Dear, year 2020, you have received more than enough bash since your arrival. Almost every person has cursed you at least once since you have entered the calendar. Honestly, I dread you too. The fright of unexpected never left me since you have appeared. A person like me who is always planning something ahead, your uncertain behavior has really bothered me.

Now, after almost 10 months of experience, I don’t blame you anymore. I want to apologize for the blame game we all have been playing. I wonder why we have been calling you the worst? What have you done? Is it really your fault?

Dear 2020, your older brother ‘2019’ might own Covid-19, but you totally own the change it brought to humans’ lives. You can flaunt the changes you caused in human behavior in front of your younger generations of Calendar. The stories of how humans literally sat back and thought about what actually matters which they didn’t get to think for decades. Most of all, the same fear of a microscopic virus among the whole wide world. A common horror that connected every single human being.

I can imagine the pride you must have for being the game-changer-year of the last century. You will address your grandchildren someday like,

“My dear children, your grandpa has made history by pausing the lives of mankind. When they were going crazy to conquer space, I bound them to their homes. Ha-ha-ha. I threw experiences after experiences at humans to learn and grow. I’m also entitled to show a mirror to the society about its flaws. Your grandpa did his best to reveal the truth of the world. However, I wonder why do they remember me like a nightmare.”

No doubt, you had your best intentions but with the arrival of your biggest surprise (COVID) when many acted wisely, dead conscience and lack of empathy of many were also disclosed. When we almost thought that the whole world is united in the fight against the pandemic, the lust of power and dominance didn’t let that happen. The evil kept fueling religious discrimination, racism, suppression of weak, abuse of power, and injustice in every possible way.

It would be definitely unfair to blame you for the downfall of humanity. Your only fault is, that you showed us the wicked face of the world around us without any mercy.

I was living in a bubble of ignorance and a little hope of betterment but you burst it ruthlessly. You became the trailer of apocalypse and shook the mother who had beautiful plans for her child. Why did you do this? Why did you become a year of “bad news”? Why did you reveal the lack of justice in every damn corner of the world?

Today, I’m a scared mother worrying about her child’s future, a wife/daughter/sibling dreading her family’s safety, a woman doubting everyone man’s intention, a human looking for a carefree and peaceful spot in the whole wide world.

You have amplified a mother’s concerns for her child’s upcoming life. Today, after surviving with the tiny virus for months, I realized its not the deadliest at all. The real threat is the evil residing within humans. When the noise of busy lives around the globe decreased during the lockdown, we could hear the uproar of injustice echoing. People are being starved, bullied, abused, attacked, traumatized, and killed by their own kind of people. Unfortunately, the justice provided daily is negligible as compared to the crimes encouraged by the lack of justice. The soul-less animals have become fearless and you (year 2020) have terrified us with this disclosure.

Since, we, humans don’t like to accept the truth, hence the hatred (blame game) became your destiny.

With love,

Scared Human

Picture: httpsimgbin.com

Another Woman was Asking for it!

How many times have you witnessed the words hidden behind asterisk sign?? (e.g R*pe, s*x etc)

Does putting the words behind the asterisk sign solve the problems or just satisfy our shallow upbringing to save the society from obscenity?

Discussing rape, sex education, consent, abuse is taboo but Alhumdulillah our blame game is too strong. We don’t put asterisk while blaming the rape victim for her clothes, makeup, and character. We don’t hide the words behind asterisk sign while blaming the parents for child abuse and calling them careless, we don’t hesitate while judging the victim!

The sickening part is, let alone punishing the perpetrator, the limelight is mostly on why the victim got into the trap.

Today, the news of the rape case on Lahore Motorway is all around the internet. CCPO Lahore Umer Shaikh casually blamed the woman for driving with her children alone and not having enough petrol.

Dear so-called guardian of Pakistani nation, if your department had been working efficiently instead of becoming the stooge of high authorities then those two sexually frustrated animals wouldn’t be out on roads. By the way, his views are not unique, just scroll down the social media platforms or look around in the neighborhood, you will find his many like-minded.

There is a shameless culture in many homes to discuss women’s clothing, walking style, body structure, accent, and then her character. Her choices are taken as a “call for attention”. If it is true in any sense, then what about those little kids who get raped? What about the woman who got raped in front of her children? Were they also asking for it??

Can we save the world from more damage?

Many reasons are suggested behind the increased percentage in abuse. Poverty, lack of education, pornography, mental sickness, and then comes the ignorance of privileged ones. Find as many reasons as you want but never ever blame the victim. By blaming the victim, we invalidate the pain and suffering. By finding excuses, we save the perpetrator!

Start from your home!

  • Don’t judge or discuss girls dressing, choices, and character. Especially in front of the men of your house
  • Stop the first comment your son/brother/father makes about other women
  • Boys shouldn’t comment on other girls dressing. Teach them to lower their gaze. Normalize it.
  • Teach your brother, husband, son (father too) to respect other’s consent
  • Mothers, while raising a strong man don’t forget to teach them humanity.
  • Fathers, while teaching your son to be his sister’s protector, don’t forget to tell them they have to respect and protect every other woman.
  • If the abuser is a closed one, report it!!!! An abuser cares for no relation. By hiding one case, you encourage him to go wild
  • If it didn’t happen to you, doesn’t mean others are lying. Support the victim.

Apparently, the world is evolving. Man has evolved from an animal to a civilized human but is it actually true? I see a cycle. A cycle that has taken the man back to the animal phase. Raise your voice in this world of animals before this rule of the jungle makes an attempt at you!

#hangtherapist

Do we need an enemy or are we enough for each other?

Some events leave an everlasting impact on our life.

I would really appreciate it if you would read the whole article to understand my point.

So, it’s about the time when I was in 8th grade. I went back to school after 4 days Moharram holidays. For Shia students, it was 7th-10th and for the rest of the students, it was 8th-10th Moharram. I usually don’t remember such details but that one extra day left a huge mark on my memory and personality too.

I clearly remember when I went back to school, all of my friends were acting weird. None of them were talking to me including my apparent best friends. It was the most uncomfortable day of my school life. I was on the verge of crying after the reception of this behavior. I was a kid and not at all a carefree person who would not notice the changed behaviors.

After spending a few classes in misery (yes, it’s the right word), I got to know that my so-called best friend discussed religion and sects on the day I was absent. She convinced everyone that talking to Shias is more of sin so they all should not be friends with me.

That was the mindset of an 8th standard girl (around 13-14 years old). Surprisingly, most of my friends obeyed her. Some of them were passing smiles awkwardly as they were also scared of the wrath God will send upon them for talking to a Shia.

Here comes the entry of my supergirl (my best friend since then) who confronted everyone for being silly and put some sense in my other friends’ heads. She almost scolded everyone for hurting me and how they can become better Muslims after hurting me like that. Eventually, everything got back to normal, some came to apologize and others said sorry with their compensating behaviors. Apparently, everything was normal after some time, but a lot had changed for me. After that day, I used to dread religious topics among friends. I had become a people pleaser as I didn’t want any confrontation. I was a frightened and dependent girl for a long time.

That day, I cried in front of my Ammi. Asked her many questions and she replied all of them. In the end, she suggested keeping the religion out of your friendship as we were too young to understand things completely.

I’m so lucky to have parents who didn’t feed me with more hatred after that event. They told me to study religion from authentic sources but never impose your beliefs on others until they are ready to understand your perspective. Sometimes, I used to get upset at my parents for raising us like that. Now, I’m glad they did what they did. I don’t call myself a very religious or knowledgeable person but I have learned to speak or act in such conditions only when you have enough knowledge and the other person is ready to listen.

I really want to give credit to my husband for teaching me to think logically and find the authenticity of everything. There are a lot of beliefs in religion we follow blindly. It’s not that all of them are wrong but we lack their understanding and history. The same goes for other beliefs, its good to search for the reasons behind other beliefs instead of just tagging them as non-believer/kafir.

If we talk about human rights, prejudice, justice, anti-bullying then we have to pay more attention in raising children with more acceptance. Acceptance of different religions, sects, ethnicity, color, language etc. We have to teach them to become responsible for their words and actions since very beginning. Today, we see hate speech, intolerance and extremism so common that I fear whether our children will grow up considering these normal human traits?

My Normal is My Normal

After spending more than a silver jubilee of my life by trying to fit into the pre-defined format of every relationship and standards of living set by God knows who, I have realized something.

Would you like to know what is it?

There are some amazing people around us who are exceptionally praised for their ideal behaviors and are examples for the young-rebellious generation. From where I see, they are all indeed inspirational as per the standards set ages ago but they don’t have their own identity. Somewhere their opinions got mixed up with the myths and customs of society. Somewhere in a struggle to fulfill the requirements of the tag attached to them, they stopped looking for what they truly liked or believed in. The blindness took over gradually and now there is zero tolerance of change.

Change, which is also a synonym of life, is not acceptable by many of us. We don’t accept the differences easily and develop judgments regarding things that do not resonates with us.
◾If a person thinks of a few careers as noble ones then he/she would disregard the rest of the options.

◾If a person prefers a certain type of clothing then people choosing other options are ridiculed by him/her.

◾If a person is vegan then people having meat are looked down upon and vice versa

◾Let’s not goto the example of religion

These are just a handful of examples. Every human is different, hence, something normal for one person is alien to other. Does this mean we should judge or ridicule the ones having different preferences than us in life?
No!

Do we do this?
100 times yes!

Does it cause any harm?
The fear of judgment and always seeking others’ approval damage one’s individuality the most. Many times, the easy path of people-pleasing has been picked and personal preference is stacked somewhere in the backseat of life.

I remember when I started my blog, it was one major step. Not for me or my family but out of the fear of response I might get for using social media with a public account. I already get taunts of wasting engineering degree. The add on was “is this even a thing to do” haww haye, over, attention seeker Bla bla bla.

After a year of “should I continue or not”, I can say that this is MY SPACE. This is the place where people know me for who I am, for my random immature thoughts, for my imperfect personality, and that’s the space that represents me. Do I need to explain myself to anyone?
Absolutely not!!

Do I need to drag myself in doing something more serious and respectable for the sake of other’s validation?
Naaa!!

In between my child’s milestone and my husband’s career growth, should I stop living a life of my choice?
Never!!

Call it side effects of “teaching girls”. I might not be (definitely not) excellent in engineering concepts but I do have the curiosity to learn and explore my life choices. My learning idea might be different from yours but that’s my normal.

The day I realized the idea of my normal is my normal, I gained the confidence to do my things my way. My way of maintaining my individuality and not expecting other’s approval for it.

Do you have your normal preferences?

The Game of Respect

Nothing is more painful than staying quiet and not being able to correct someone out of respect. In fact, I don’t consider this behavior as respect at all. This can be fear, ignorance, weakness, numbness but definitely not the so-called respect.

One common parenting goal that I have observed since forever is to raise well-behaved children. We were always reminded to behave in front of elders, neighbors, in-laws, guests, and every other possible human. Let me elaborate on this well-behaved term a little according to our society. You are well-behaved and well-raised if:

◾You act dumb to every unnecessary comment from elders around the globe
◾You don’t mention your preferences and choices in front of anyone
◾A child of your family doesn’t report molestation or abuse because he would fear that it might be disrespectful towards that SAINT.
◾Children in your family choose their careers only according to the elder’s wishes and orders
◾You are bound to ignore all the privacy invaders with a smile because oh dear, you dont even know how to set boundaries
◾You have no power to protect your dear ones from the toxicity because respecting the wrong person is apparently more important than saving someone’s life

◾You have no courage to correct the authorities
◾You keep respecting and keep losing your self-respect

I’m sure every third person can relate to one of these and proudly call them well-behaved and well-raised.

The heart shattering part is when I see the abuse at the name of respect from the educated ones. Education is indeed the best thing that can happen to a person until he/she starts feeling too educated for others. You can spot these people among your family, relatives, colleagues and sometimes at street who are just too educated to think, too educated to learn more, too educated to adapt, too educated to even listen. However, always too good to give others any respect.

When the pseudo education gets to someone’s head, it intoxicates them with the lust of control over others. The vicious game of respect is more common among such people. Surprisingly, they find a massive audience and generations to help them grow their “respectful circle”

The circus of respect is getting suffocating but am I allowed to stop being “well-behaved”????

Eligible for Respect?

“You should learn to respect your elders.” his father told him in a stern tone.

“But, aunty was being unreasonable towards me”. He protested.

“Stop it. She is older than you. You don’t say such things about elders. Have we not taught you this?”. He almost screamed.

“But…….”. He stopped after looking at his father’s expressions.

He was hurt. He was hurt to disappoint his father but he was hurt more because he felt unheard and disrespected. He couldn’t stop thinking if only elders deserve respect?

He is one of us. He is another victim of the so-called rules of respect followed for generations. Apparently, there are certain roles, relations, and financial statuses that deserve the most regard. We might be in a modern era but somethings have followed us down here in 2020 too. There are numerous daily examples that cause damages at the individual level due to this vicious cycle of respect.

◾A child is forced to be nice to everyone (guilty of doing this). Sometimes to an extent that with the time a child loses his ability to judge according to his own instincts and just quietly keep “respecting”.

◾A teenager has been molested by one of the respectable members of the family for years but she couldn’t say anything because she feared it would be disrespectful to say something against him.

◾Talking about sex education, menstruation, and puberty changes in the family were considered a taboo. The kids learned it from the wrong sources. Now the family is trying to save its respect.

◾A girl’s dream of higher studies was crushed under her grandparent’s wish to get her married soon. The parents were respecting the elders and they didn’t realize the harm they did to the person with her own heart, soul, and desires.

◾He was sharp, energetic, and full of ideas until he switched to a new company at the start of his career. His new boss didn’t believe in considering junior’s ideas. He was ridiculed in front of the whole office for proposing changes in a new project. The company later lost that same project as well as the self-esteem of their employee.

◾He always loved the magic of different spices that come together to make a delicious meal. His passion for cooking grew with age. When he excitedly shared his decision of perusing a chef career, he was reminded of the only few noble professions that are respectable. Later in life, he was neither a good chef nor any in other professions.

◾They brought the dead body inside the house full of people. She looked at her mother. Everyone was crying. She was crying too but she could feel the calmness on her mother’s face. Her mother was at rest now. Her mother doesn’t have to fear anyone. She doesn’t have to listen to those harsh taunts. She doesn’t have to prove herself as a good daughter, wife, daughter in law, and a mother. She doesn’t have to compromise on her self-respect by respecting the most honorable (or horrible) relations.

A person dies gradually from inside after respecting the pre-defined rules of society and disrespecting his own self. Everyone deserves respect. Parents, children, elders, youngsters, rich, poor; these tags should not define the eligibility of respect but only the individuality of a person.

Let’s be a generation who listens and evaluates the matters rationally rather than with a fear of “it was not common in our time”.

Safe and Sound? – Flash Fiction

“Didn’t you sleep all night again? ” her mom asked him looking at his red eyes.

He kept quiet with his deep brown eyes looking down on his hands on lap. His mind was blank but too tired to listen or respond to anyone. This has been his condition for many days now. His mom’s heart sank once again to see his son with a pale face and messy curly hair which was the exact opposite of his usual bright looks.

Musa was a 19 years old chirpy boy who was hard to ignore for his bright, handsome, and carefree personality. He was another teenager who would like to enjoy life ignoring all the ifs and buts.

Flying with the wind on his bike, Musa left college early than usual as he just had one class that day. Sliding smoothly on the service road reaching his society, he saw someone running on the road. Within a few seconds, a waving hand of a girl caught his attention and he stopped the bike with a jerk as she came just in front of him. She was a beautiful girl with a lean body in her mid-twenties wearing turquoise shalwar kameez with a comparatively darker shade dupatta hanging on her shoulder. She came closer to Musa hurriedly, ” Can you please drop me off at the next stop?”, in a breathless panicked tone while holding her big brown purse. He didn’t understand the attack from that girl on an almost deserted road. It was the peak hot summer day when there is very little traffic on roads. He suddenly recalled all the crime news coming along these days. His mind worked abruptly and he accelerated the bike as fast as he could without saying anything. He didn’t listen to that girl. All he heard was her scream of “wait, wait, don’t goooo! “.

Throughout his way, he kept praising himself for dodging the criminal gang and for acting vigilantly on time otherwise his name would be in news as another victim.

Soon after entering the home, he proudly announced, “Mom!! Go and pray nafil, your brave son saved himself from an incident right on time today”. His mom ran out of the kitchen in a hurry towards him.

“What happened? Are you alright?”, she asked with a panic in her voice.

She looked at him top to bottom and took a sigh of relief after finding no visible injuries. He grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter and crashed on the nearest sofa in living. He explained the incident with little spices while switching TV channels. He later went into his room.

He woke up to the knock on his bedroom door. He looked up to see the clock striking 10’o clock. He stretched his arms with a yawn to feel the pleasure of oversleeping one more time. His sister entered the room.

“Dinner is ready Nawab Sahab, would you like to join us?”, Natasha informed with a pure sisterly tone.

He came out of the room grinning displaying his achievement of taking a more than 5 hours long nap.

“Good morning, son”, his father greeted him sarcastically and turned towards television screen again.

Musa opened his mouth to say something but the news bulletin caught his attention. They were taking the name of the road on which he passes every day. It was the same road on which the incident happened today. His eyes popped out when he saw the picture of the girl. The news anchor was repeating, “Girl was attacked with acid for refusing the marriage proposal of a colleague.”……..

“Was she asking for help?”
“the acid attacker was following her!!”
“I could have saved her”
“I didn’t even listen to her”
“Am I responsible for this?”

His head started to spin with all the thoughts which are of no use now!

Caught Red handed!

As soon as BabyM heard the living room’s door opening, she quickly left her toys and ran outside. I went after her to enjoy the daily Baap-beti greeting session. She ran into Ghazanfar’s arms with her usual words “Babaaaaaaaaa, aaaaaa gayeeeeeee”, and her ever pampering Baba replied with the same daily excitement “Jeee Betu k Baba aaaa gayeee”.

I turned around towards the kitchen to bring snacks and tea saying Masha Allah in my heart. I overheard something that instantly took my smile away.

She was saying, “An uncle came today. Mama was talking to him, I heard her but Mama didn’t let me talk to him“.

I was stunned at her memory once again but today I didn’t expect her to report it to her Baba like this. I ran towards the living room so I could stop her from saying more.

But it was too late. He was already looking at me with utter disappointment in his eyes. I felt guilty for not being able to keep my words. I wanted to tell him that it was unintentional and I never wanted this to happen.

BabyM went to the room to get her toys and I stood there silently waiting for his reaction.

Before he could say anything, I initiated to apologize.

Me: I’m so sorry…
He: Why don’t you listen to me?
Me: I didn’t do in intentionally…I was……
He: Oh yes, it must be my fault too. Did I ask you to come upstairs to check on me? Now, if she got to know that Baba is working upstairs, she won’t let me work there too!!!

Jee janab. It was nothing as you assumed. Since the lockdown has implemented, Ghazanfar is working from home. At first, he was working in his computer room but it became impossible to stop BabyM from banging the door and interrupting his meeting with her calling ” Baabaaaa Baabaaaa” on top of her lungs so he had to move upstairs to work peacefully. We daily pretend that he is going office and then I look for an escape the whole day like a thief to give him lunch and tea. The time she almost caught me was one of the times when I was aiwain taking a tour da upstairs to check on my dear husband. She heard us talking and I told her “betu, it was not Baba but an uncle I was talking to”. After all, I am BabyM’s Mama so I’m as clingy as her. How can I resist visiting him upstairs 4-5 times for no good reason😜

Please pray that she doesn’t get to know about this second hideout aka WFH spot otherwise we will be in great trouble. According to ghazanfar, “You both won’t let me work peacefully at home, I should take special permission to open office for me“.
🙈

Reactions over Ehsas Telethon Dua!

The post-Ehsas Telethon panic has already taken over the social media for which initially, I was not sure about sharing my two cents on it.

Honestly, I don’t get the politics and political issues, hence I avoid who is right who is wrong debate on it. There is always a doubt about everything and you never know what’s the truth. When I saw the viral news, first I couldn’t believe that it’s against Maulana Tariq Jameel. I looked into it to know the truth and I just kept thinking the whole time that what did he actually say wrong here?

Watching the clips and the tweets were so disappointing. A reaction and dragging of matter just because “Chor ki darhi me tinka”.

It was unbelievable that the so-called sensible and experienced journalists couldn’t digest the reality and didn’t resist before embarrassing one of the assets of our nation.

I respect Maulana Tariq Jameel for his knowledge, preaching peace, maintaining harmony amongst different sects, and for the positive vibe he has.

How many of you listened to his dua on the 27th Rajab? He prayed for the whole world and our country. He asked forgiveness and his major concern was the sight of empty Ka’aba. He says things that reflect his religious perspectives. Humara ya apka religion nahi, the only and righteous religion.

Did you listen to his prayer at the end of Ehsas Telethon? What did he pray that caused so much panic among our insecure nation?
Don’t we all lie?
Do we all follow the religion, the right way?
Is our media really naive and truthful??
Doesn’t the media subjectify women?

Don’t answer here. But in your heart.

Whatever it is that bothers you about his modest nature, can you deny the fact that he is one of the few respectable scholars we have??
When will we learn to respect our teachers and scholars?? How can we expect to get rid of illiteracy if we don’t want to listen to those who actually have knowledge?

Is the so-called freedom of speech slogan for media only? Why the media couldn’t digest something so evident said by a respectable personality??

Before Ramzan, I was listing the names of scholars whom I can listen to. Those who are easy to understand and I admire for their way of preaching. Among all the Shia scholars Maulana Tariq Jameel was one scholar I had in mind who doesn’t belong to the Shia sect (mentioning the sect part here just to let you know that every sect respects him). I don’t listen to him regularly but whenever I had, I couldn’t leave the session in middle. He has always talked about the basics of Islam and revealed how beautiful is our religion to practice.

It was such a painful sight to see him apologizing! No matter what, they shouldn’t have made him apologize on media like that.

#istandwithmaulanatariqjameel #ehsastelethon

The Moral Police

Once upon a time, Baba and Mama were having a chit chat over a cup of average-tea-bagged tea. Baby M was playing around with her toys happily since both the parents were within her sight. Meanwhile, Baba recalled one hilarious incident at his office and the overexcited Mama laughed with patting on Baba’s back (Tusi kitnay mazaki ho). Within few seconds Baby M approached Baba and repeated the patting part on the exact same side with exactly same laugh. Oops. Instantly, Mama realized her mistake and tried to avoid Baba’s gaze which was saying, “Aur karo aisi harkaten iske samny”. *Guilty*

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Honestly, this was not the first and only incident which happened in the last 23 months. The copycat behaviour was activated by the time Baby M started recognizing faces, smiles and other gestures. I still remember how she started to respond to our smiles and laughs with her tiny voice (I am lying here, she never had a tiny voice). Gradually the response has turned into copying words, actions and our every habit. Her Taa’ami (Tayi Ammi) has even named her “copy-paste”. Every next day, the copy-paste aunty is turning into moral police roaming around us and embarrassing us for our own deeds.

Like any other Mother, I want to see my child as a polite, friendly, obedient and mannered person. I keep teaching her little things intentionally as well as unintentionally. The intentional regular lessons are least appealing to her which she frequently keeps displaying. However, she surprises us almost every day with her observations and adaptation of habits which we teach her unintentionally. Basically, we have been monitored every single moment and trust me, it is not a nice feeling at all.

Children become the best example of WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND for parents.  Once you say or do something in front of kids, be prepared of that coming (read: hitting) back to you very soon. At that time, parents realize about their POOR personas which they had taken casually throughout the life.

A few weeks back, we learned about our wrong sitting postures with the help of our little teacher. Yes! We can’t sit a little tilted or sideways on a dining chair/sofa. She would instantly correct us, Mama/Baba Seedhi. Now, I am not even allowed to relax by laying on the sofa because Mama Seedhi bethen. I cannot sleep all curled up because “Mama Seedhi”, I cannot sit on dining chair sideways because of “Mama Seedhi”. Now I regret asking her to sit properly. I never knew she will Seedhi my life in this way.

The-Baba and I try (mostly think) to be nice persons to follow all the rules and etiquettes but thanks to our dear daughter, we know we are definitely not. There are times when we do not feel like eating on the dining table and decide to enjoy the meal in front of the TV. Wait! No no no, the plate has to be on the table and not in hand. You know why? Because we tell her to put the plate on the table to avoid the mess; “Beta plate hath me nahi rakhtay, table pe rakhtay hain na!”. The inspector appears and tells us to follow the rules and keep repeating herself until we do it.

Motherhood has changed my entire personality. Be it the way I carry myself, my opinions, my priorities everything. So, I have been having long nails (not too long) since college I guess. Now I don’t have it because it might hurt Baby M while handling her. I try my best to cut my nails as soon as I get time. Recently, I was given a HAWW look by Baby M with an order; “Mama, nails cut”. Just the way I convince her before cutting her nails. It’s evident that practice before you preach otherwise someone like her will end up making you feel ashamed of yourself.

Every single day I apologize to every mother I judged before becoming a mother myself. I seriously do it sincerely in my heart. As a mother when you want to teach your child the best of behaviours, you simply can’t do it flawlessly because you are a human too. You can’t be perfect all the time. We really want Baby M to develop a habit of cleaning after herself from the start so we keep annoying her with statements like, “Ye kyun phainka ap ny? Ye saaf Karen shabash. Toys wapas rakhen basket me.” Etc. but again, we are not perfect. So a few days back, after changing her clothes I threw the dirty ones randomly at sofa to be dumped in laundry basket later. Baby M stopped me and asked “Mama kyun”? At first, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. Then she repeated herself, “Mama, Kyun phainka?” with raised eyebrows. I felt like crying for not being able to be this casual.

Kids know the perfect timing to fire back your own lessons at you, that too in a most innocent way. So, one day we were telling her not to call her Mamoo’s name (hass-aiinnnn). We told her, “Hasnain Nahi Mamoo”. The parrot learned the lesson and context both. Next day, I was telling my husband something about our maasi (maid) which Baby M heard while playing around. The lady came to us and said: “Maasi Nhi Auntyyyy, Mama Maasi nhi bolen, Aunty bolen” (Repeat x5). Until we apologized and she was satisfied that her message had been delivered successfully.

I started writing this blog 4 months back but I am one busy and lazy person. Every time I opened this document, had to edit with new versions of scrutiny by my little inspector. Kids are the most observant creatures on earth at least when it comes to their parents. so, this was our short story of being under observation (read: never ending) by our mini version.

 

Note:     Dear my almost 2 years old (Masha ALLAH), now your mouth is full of teeth and so is your vocab. I am not sure if we are doing a good job as parents but you are definitely raising your parents really well baby.