Caught Red handed!

As soon as BabyM heard the living room’s door opening, she quickly left her toys and ran outside. I went after her to enjoy the daily Baap-beti greeting session. She ran into Ghazanfar’s arms with her usual words “Babaaaaaaaaa, aaaaaa gayeeeeeee”, and her ever pampering Baba replied with the same daily excitement “Jeee Betu k Baba aaaa gayeee”.

I turned around towards the kitchen to bring snacks and tea saying Masha Allah in my heart. I overheard something that instantly took my smile away.

She was saying, “An uncle came today. Mama was talking to him, I heard her but Mama didn’t let me talk to him“.

I was stunned at her memory once again but today I didn’t expect her to report it to her Baba like this. I ran towards the living room so I could stop her from saying more.

But it was too late. He was already looking at me with utter disappointment in his eyes. I felt guilty for not being able to keep my words. I wanted to tell him that it was unintentional and I never wanted this to happen.

BabyM went to the room to get her toys and I stood there silently waiting for his reaction.

Before he could say anything, I initiated to apologize.

Me: I’m so sorry…
He: Why don’t you listen to me?
Me: I didn’t do in intentionally…I was……
He: Oh yes, it must be my fault too. Did I ask you to come upstairs to check on me? Now, if she got to know that Baba is working upstairs, she won’t let me work there too!!!

Jee janab. It was nothing as you assumed. Since the lockdown has implemented, Ghazanfar is working from home. At first, he was working in his computer room but it became impossible to stop BabyM from banging the door and interrupting his meeting with her calling ” Baabaaaa Baabaaaa” on top of her lungs so he had to move upstairs to work peacefully. We daily pretend that he is going office and then I look for an escape the whole day like a thief to give him lunch and tea. The time she almost caught me was one of the times when I was aiwain taking a tour da upstairs to check on my dear husband. She heard us talking and I told her “betu, it was not Baba but an uncle I was talking to”. After all, I am BabyM’s Mama so I’m as clingy as her. How can I resist visiting him upstairs 4-5 times for no good reason😜

Please pray that she doesn’t get to know about this second hideout aka WFH spot otherwise we will be in great trouble. According to ghazanfar, “You both won’t let me work peacefully at home, I should take special permission to open office for me“.
🙈

Reactions over Ehsas Telethon Dua!

The post-Ehsas Telethon panic has already taken over the social media for which initially, I was not sure about sharing my two cents on it.

Honestly, I don’t get the politics and political issues, hence I avoid who is right who is wrong debate on it. There is always a doubt about everything and you never know what’s the truth. When I saw the viral news, first I couldn’t believe that it’s against Maulana Tariq Jameel. I looked into it to know the truth and I just kept thinking the whole time that what did he actually say wrong here?

Watching the clips and the tweets were so disappointing. A reaction and dragging of matter just because “Chor ki darhi me tinka”.

It was unbelievable that the so-called sensible and experienced journalists couldn’t digest the reality and didn’t resist before embarrassing one of the assets of our nation.

I respect Maulana Tariq Jameel for his knowledge, preaching peace, maintaining harmony amongst different sects, and for the positive vibe he has.

How many of you listened to his dua on the 27th Rajab? He prayed for the whole world and our country. He asked forgiveness and his major concern was the sight of empty Ka’aba. He says things that reflect his religious perspectives. Humara ya apka religion nahi, the only and righteous religion.

Did you listen to his prayer at the end of Ehsas Telethon? What did he pray that caused so much panic among our insecure nation?
Don’t we all lie?
Do we all follow the religion, the right way?
Is our media really naive and truthful??
Doesn’t the media subjectify women?

Don’t answer here. But in your heart.

Whatever it is that bothers you about his modest nature, can you deny the fact that he is one of the few respectable scholars we have??
When will we learn to respect our teachers and scholars?? How can we expect to get rid of illiteracy if we don’t want to listen to those who actually have knowledge?

Is the so-called freedom of speech slogan for media only? Why the media couldn’t digest something so evident said by a respectable personality??

Before Ramzan, I was listing the names of scholars whom I can listen to. Those who are easy to understand and I admire for their way of preaching. Among all the Shia scholars Maulana Tariq Jameel was one scholar I had in mind who doesn’t belong to the Shia sect (mentioning the sect part here just to let you know that every sect respects him). I don’t listen to him regularly but whenever I had, I couldn’t leave the session in middle. He has always talked about the basics of Islam and revealed how beautiful is our religion to practice.

It was such a painful sight to see him apologizing! No matter what, they shouldn’t have made him apologize on media like that.

#istandwithmaulanatariqjameel #ehsastelethon

The Moral Police

Once upon a time, Baba and Mama were having a chit chat over a cup of average-tea-bagged tea. Baby M was playing around with her toys happily since both the parents were within her sight. Meanwhile, Baba recalled one hilarious incident at his office and the overexcited Mama laughed with patting on Baba’s back (Tusi kitnay mazaki ho). Within few seconds Baby M approached Baba and repeated the patting part on the exact same side with exactly same laugh. Oops. Instantly, Mama realized her mistake and tried to avoid Baba’s gaze which was saying, “Aur karo aisi harkaten iske samny”. *Guilty*

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Honestly, this was not the first and only incident which happened in the last 23 months. The copycat behaviour was activated by the time Baby M started recognizing faces, smiles and other gestures. I still remember how she started to respond to our smiles and laughs with her tiny voice (I am lying here, she never had a tiny voice). Gradually the response has turned into copying words, actions and our every habit. Her Taa’ami (Tayi Ammi) has even named her “copy-paste”. Every next day, the copy-paste aunty is turning into moral police roaming around us and embarrassing us for our own deeds.

Like any other Mother, I want to see my child as a polite, friendly, obedient and mannered person. I keep teaching her little things intentionally as well as unintentionally. The intentional regular lessons are least appealing to her which she frequently keeps displaying. However, she surprises us almost every day with her observations and adaptation of habits which we teach her unintentionally. Basically, we have been monitored every single moment and trust me, it is not a nice feeling at all.

Children become the best example of WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND for parents.  Once you say or do something in front of kids, be prepared of that coming (read: hitting) back to you very soon. At that time, parents realize about their POOR personas which they had taken casually throughout the life.

A few weeks back, we learned about our wrong sitting postures with the help of our little teacher. Yes! We can’t sit a little tilted or sideways on a dining chair/sofa. She would instantly correct us, Mama/Baba Seedhi. Now, I am not even allowed to relax by laying on the sofa because Mama Seedhi bethen. I cannot sleep all curled up because “Mama Seedhi”, I cannot sit on dining chair sideways because of “Mama Seedhi”. Now I regret asking her to sit properly. I never knew she will Seedhi my life in this way.

The-Baba and I try (mostly think) to be nice persons to follow all the rules and etiquettes but thanks to our dear daughter, we know we are definitely not. There are times when we do not feel like eating on the dining table and decide to enjoy the meal in front of the TV. Wait! No no no, the plate has to be on the table and not in hand. You know why? Because we tell her to put the plate on the table to avoid the mess; “Beta plate hath me nahi rakhtay, table pe rakhtay hain na!”. The inspector appears and tells us to follow the rules and keep repeating herself until we do it.

Motherhood has changed my entire personality. Be it the way I carry myself, my opinions, my priorities everything. So, I have been having long nails (not too long) since college I guess. Now I don’t have it because it might hurt Baby M while handling her. I try my best to cut my nails as soon as I get time. Recently, I was given a HAWW look by Baby M with an order; “Mama, nails cut”. Just the way I convince her before cutting her nails. It’s evident that practice before you preach otherwise someone like her will end up making you feel ashamed of yourself.

Every single day I apologize to every mother I judged before becoming a mother myself. I seriously do it sincerely in my heart. As a mother when you want to teach your child the best of behaviours, you simply can’t do it flawlessly because you are a human too. You can’t be perfect all the time. We really want Baby M to develop a habit of cleaning after herself from the start so we keep annoying her with statements like, “Ye kyun phainka ap ny? Ye saaf Karen shabash. Toys wapas rakhen basket me.” Etc. but again, we are not perfect. So a few days back, after changing her clothes I threw the dirty ones randomly at sofa to be dumped in laundry basket later. Baby M stopped me and asked “Mama kyun”? At first, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. Then she repeated herself, “Mama, Kyun phainka?” with raised eyebrows. I felt like crying for not being able to be this casual.

Kids know the perfect timing to fire back your own lessons at you, that too in a most innocent way. So, one day we were telling her not to call her Mamoo’s name (hass-aiinnnn). We told her, “Hasnain Nahi Mamoo”. The parrot learned the lesson and context both. Next day, I was telling my husband something about our maasi (maid) which Baby M heard while playing around. The lady came to us and said: “Maasi Nhi Auntyyyy, Mama Maasi nhi bolen, Aunty bolen” (Repeat x5). Until we apologized and she was satisfied that her message had been delivered successfully.

I started writing this blog 4 months back but I am one busy and lazy person. Every time I opened this document, had to edit with new versions of scrutiny by my little inspector. Kids are the most observant creatures on earth at least when it comes to their parents. so, this was our short story of being under observation (read: never ending) by our mini version.

 

Note:     Dear my almost 2 years old (Masha ALLAH), now your mouth is full of teeth and so is your vocab. I am not sure if we are doing a good job as parents but you are definitely raising your parents really well baby.

The Other Side

44028478_920793268110300_5886450075864924160_nI always silently smile when someone showers myself with the envious statements like, “Wow, you guys live alone”, “You are privileged to raise your child without any interference” or, “It must be so fun to live on your own”. At some point, this is true, indeed. But, for everyone, the grass is greener on THE OTHER SIDE.

When we shifted to an entirely new city and no relatives around, BabyM was just two months old. It was a struggling phase as for the previous two months, our daughter was being looked after by her aunty and grandmother mostly. I used to get paranoid at 2 am and run towards their rooms if she would cry a little. I was too much dependent on the people around me. My husband got a better job offer in a new city and we decided to move on for better opportunities in life.

All of a sudden, life took a major change and I was all alone in the least furnished house, in a new city with my little baby. It was and is still a struggle for me to manage house chores with a hyperactive baby. We took months to adjust at the new place and accept this change. Initially, we would make plans to run back to our family as it was not easy at all. The burden of responsibilities had actually stunned the pampered child inside ourselves and we were clueless about how to pursue this change. When they think that since I live alone, I can cook, clean or do whatever I want at whatever time. It doesn’t work this way man, No! When you are a mother of a toddler, it doesn’t work this way. For the quickest bathroom visit, I have to wait long enough. Firstly, I have to convince the baby to wait calmly outside washroom and still prepare myself for the crying session at the door. Secondly, the fear of the baby hurting herself is really horrible. Once I had to run to the bathroom leaving BabyM alone in the room. The not-protesting-behavior warned the mother instincts right away. However, I rushed and took the least possible time in my imaginations. In those less than 2 minutes my little creature managed to sit on the top of the dressing table. Can you imagine?? She took advantage of my uncontrollable urge, climbed sofa and jumped onto the almost a foot away dressing like a monkey. This girl is still so afraid of swings but can perform stunts like these to utilize a few minutes of freedom from her 24/7 Momma-guard.

Life is definitely different when you spend life on your own conditions. Meanwhile praising the perks of living separately, the struggles are completely ignored. I have been judgmental too, and I am really sorry for that now.  When a girl becomes a mother, she has a responsibility to nurture a soul for the future world. O these are heavy words! But honestly, I do feel like that. The routine has to be there, proper nutrients have to be there for the energetic body and mind, daily mini-lessons, continuous effort of raising a child is there. We are responsible for each and every behaviour, capabilities, success and failure of our child. We ( the parents) have to struggle every day to become a role model for her by smiling, accepting mistakes, controlling the erupting lava inside us, dismissing the fights with partner, appreciating even a smallest good gesture, maintaining the bond with loved ones living far away, and many other uncountable traits which a good human being should have.

Recently, she took advantage of busy parents and tried to climb Baba’s beloved desktop table. We have no idea what exactly happened as we just heard the loud scream. We both skipped a heartbeat and rushed towards our baby. She had hurt her gums and her mouth was filled with blood. I just can’t see her blood. Thankfully husband was at home. He immediately rinsed her mouth with cold water and consoled her. I was frozen with fear. At such incidents, I fear what if she will get hurt someday and nobody would be around to help. At such points in my life, I envy people who live with family around them. Other privileges are secondary, they at least have people around to help at emergencies, have more people to talk to, or at least they see more faces daily than I do.

Motherhood has made me an over thinker and overprotective person, hence the simplest activity becomes really exhausting most of the times. For a reminder, a mother is a human being with limits, flaws and her own wishes as an individual. There are times when I badly crave for someone to be here by my side who can witness the daily routine and talk some sense into my mind to maintain my sanity.

The news of someone’s planning to visit us literally makes us super happy every time. We start listing down the places to visit, food to offer and activities to make the visit more exciting.  In case of cancellation of their plan, it becomes a bit off for us. My father has been postponing his visit since forever and now we have started emotional blackmailing THE-Nana. Lol. Yes, we are this desperate. On a serious note, the main reason behind such eagerness is BabyM. We really want her to spend quality time with her loved ones. We crave to see her with her grandparents. We wish to tell our parents, “Oh, you are spoiling her!” I really want her to spend weekends with her cousins like I used to do in my childhood. Unfortunately, it is not possible practically. Video calls are a blessing nowadays to bridge the distance in miles. But with a toddler who loves to carry the phone all by herself and loves to cut the call so it is not an option anymore. Plus, the in-person meet up is far better than a virtual one. And and and… selfishly, I also want them to come so I can also have some company and little distraction from my little monster. I hope now no one will call me a bad mother over this.

 

In every mother’s life, a time comes when she needs everyone to consider her an individual and not only a mother, wife, daughter or by any other relation. At times, random people advise me to be very cautious around BabyM or keep myself maintained for my husband. I really do appreciate the concerns but at bad moods, really want to answer them to please help me deal with my life rather than just sprinkling the free advice. It might sound rude, but a mother who suffers from the depressing phase is needed to be treated as an individual person first and then anything else.

So basically, I am happy to live my life on my own conditions but at times, it’s so exhausting to raise a child and maintain my sanity altogether. BabyM is a smart energetic kid who keeps Mama engaged (at exhausting level) throughout the day and makes Baba crazy after the office hours. Since the terrible-two-stage is also here to make it worse, I am kind of (Read: completely) losing myself.

 

Note Dear Baby, whenever you read this, just remember Mama loves you more than anything in this world. Undoubtedly, you are the only person who makes me feel most wanted. You drain Mama’s energy completely but do freshen up my mood with your“I Luboooo” (I Love You) in the end. Now, since Mama has taken all the frustration out, she is feeling better. 😀

Letter to My Kid Sister

A very Happy Birthday to the essential of our family. Essential because you share a unique bond with every person in the family. I remember celebrating your birthday every year with our usual celebrating meals and Abbu bringing your birthday cake as he never wanted to offend his “Pathan“. Remember, it always used to rain at your birthday and Ammi would always repeat her statement,” Mehak ki birthday pe barish zarur hoti hai“.

Like every sister, we have infinite memories together since childhood to our yesterday talk. Remember how innocent you have been considered since the beginning. The ever compromising Mehko who usually becomes favourite of everyone easily. I was even accused by your well-wishers to be jealous of you.*wink*. God knows it can never be true.

Remember how we used to fight at night to sleep next to Ammi and you be the Shareef soul, always ended up on the other side of the bed. Ammi would give me and Bhai lectures of how should siblings care about each other feeling. I swear that daily dose of insight at night have shaped our lives and are the cause of bond we possess.

Remember how you always made your friends call me “Appi” when you never called it yourself. Whenever you pretend to call me Appi, I always laughed in my brain recalling the times when you were screaming my name in the house.

Sorry for being the Hitler of your life. Remember how I used to lecture you before helping in any assignment. I used to act a decade older than you. Having that feeling, I always felt a bit more conscious (at irritating level) about you. Your friends used to ask the Hitler’s permission before any outing instead of Ammi Abbu. Then I was put at the stake to convince them. Oh God, how manipulative we have been to our innocent parents. *guilty*. This made you attend almost every co-curricular activity at school and university. Our younger siblings should bow down to us for creating the acceptance in our parents else we would have been a victim of “Log Kia kahengy” all our lives.

Whenever I come across any sisterhood advertisement or articles, it reminds me of you. The arguments over anything and then being each other’s support in our stupid school/college/friends matters. Sharing wardrobe, lame discussions, sharing secrets, verbal and physical fights, making future plans and we have done it all.

Thinking of you as a vulnerable one, I was always overprotective about you and I still am. No need to recall the famous incident of the fight for you in school. People see the confident groomed girl. I have witnessed a tiny shy introvert girl growing up into a smart independent lady. The girl who used to get terrified of seeing any new face in the house is now dealing with life in an entirely new world. This gives me a feeling, “meri bachi bari hogyi hai”. Lol. Too dramatic? I know.

Being each other’s most hated opponent in the house most of the times, I never assumed I could talk to you almost every day. Remember how we always made fun of Ammi for having regular talks with her sisters. Oh God, we actually do it now. Lol. Sorry to Khalas if it offends you 😘

Thank you for loving and owning Baby M like your own kid. We (me and husband) really appreciate every little effort you make to develop a connection with Baby M. You always want her updates and want to have a video call so that she won’t forget your face despite living in another time zone, adjusting in a new place and environment,

Thank you for being the best kid sister. Rida, you are the best baby sister, Ok?

Happy birthday Mehakoo 

 

Message from BabyM:

Hiiii….Happyyy tooo tiii  Lala/mehchhh/khala.

Mama … phone … baat… ajaoo… ayii taaa… pleeeshhh… thantoo…nai nai naiii

LOL.

Ok so on a serious note Lala, now I recognize you a little more. Don’t be sad when I call you with other names. Once I will meet you in person, you will definitely become my favourite.

Love,
Your Chota Jin.

Daa fizz (Khuda Hafiz)

 

The Game of Time! 😮😮😮

It was a pleasant trip to my favourite mall in the city when I turned on the radio. Suddenly a new hit song was played and I couldn’t resist myself saying “what type of song is this? We used to have better songs at our time“. In a moment, I realized that I had just said a very famous sentence of my mother. She used to say this when we were listening to songs of our time. Gosh. This realization of entering the “aunty phase” of my life just ruined my shopping mood.

As soon as the idea of “my time” came into my mind, I got a flashback of songs and movies which we used to love at that time. It put a wide successful smile on my face when I realized that we did survive without YouTube and high-speed internet. When my baby will be grown up, she won’t even know about the devices like VCR (Video Cassette Recorder), Floppy disks and cassette players, which are obsolete now. I wonder if USBs will last longer or not as for now they have almost taken over the market of CDs (Compact disk).

Time is changing like a crazy camouflage. If I would compare the childhood I had, and the one my baby will have is going to be an entirely different generations and era. There was time with limited number of TV channels with everything on one channel; cartoons, TV serials, news and farming guide (Sona Urea). Oh man, how can I forget the tough job of fixing antenna on rooftop just to get clear signals? Every family used to have a dedicated person to go on top of the house and set the antenna with the help of rest of the family shouting on the top of their vocals “Ab theek araha hai channel, nahiii, ab kharab hogya” (Now signals are clear, No, it’s blur again). Unfortunately, the generation born with remote controls around could not taste the flavor of tuning channels and fixing antennas manually. I totally get amazed all the time when a few years old efficiently operates a tablet/mobile phone by smoothly sliding his tiny fingers over the screen. (Maybe its just me, but I do look at them like aliens for few minutes)

Similarly, mobile phones have evolved quite amazingly from simple wireless wide-heavy-phones to slim smart minicomputers. How many of you remember the no-mobile phone era with only landlines? It sounds so incomplete to me now but at that time almost every house used to have a landline phone and a diary with contact numbers of all relatives and acquaintances in alphabetical order. Awwiee, that was cute actually. *Nostalgia striking badly*. And yes, my favourite gigantic phone directory with yellow pages. It used to be an exciting feeling watching thousands of names and numbers printed on those yellow pages. With the arrival of mobiles, those poor directories are/were used by Tandoor walas to wrap chapatis. Poor fate of those yellow pages. *Sigh*

And yes, the change which I absolutely love is the super speed internet we have now. It was more than a torture to sit and look at the Windows 98 screen “dialing up” and when the internet was connected, it was another level of torture. Open a website and go out party, when you will be back, hopefully, that website would have open. It was a kind of mental harassment I tell you. For this, I can call my generation the most patient one.

Family get-togethers on vacations and special occasions were very different before mobile/laptop era. There were Ludo, cards, carom and other indoor games which families use to enjoy together and would spend quality time together without anyone busy in mobile phones. The children who have grown up with facilities of UPS and generator might never know that the fancy decorative lanterns were previously used at homes as a necessity. Although I used to hate those yellow light gas lanterns turning load-shedding time even more depressing.

Do you remember the era of analog cameras? O man, I remember the thrill (yes) to hold it and take photographs with such precautions to not waste a single reel. The privileged children of the time with digital cameras sadly can’t live the eager phase to wait for negatives to get printed. One wrong click and the photographer will be cursed for it instantly. Lol. Every house must have a whole cupboard section full of analog picture albums which are more like an asset for family elders. Digital era is definitely more efficient and shows the result in a snap of a finger. As an old 26-year-old aunt, I realized some things are worth wait for and develop their importance even more after being received. The DSLR captures have far better picture quality but “jo bat analog picture ki hai, wo maza dslr me kahan”.

Another childhood memory that is striking nowadays in this scorching weather is the Ramadan of winters. The childhood Ramadan memories are filled with cold breezy Suhoor. The struggle to wake up in freezing suhoor and leaving the warm blankets was so deadly which now seems a blessing as compared to the Ramadan in sweaty-no-electricity summers. I miss the unique excitement among siblings in competing to perform ablution from cold water, perform prayers, and complete more chapters of The Quran. I miss the pleasant school mornings of the holy month. After Fajr, we had to get ready for school and then would wait for the school van half sleepy in blankets. The ride to school from home used to be so refreshing when van driver used to play Naats on the route. The sight of roads used to be so lively as compared to rest of the months with fresh faces going to offices and schools. The pure energetic morning feeling used to engulf us. Since last few years, every part of the day is spent in saving oneself from the hot weather and running close to fans/ACs.

Now, I can in some way relate to my mother when things used to/still bother her and she would recall her time. Change is never bad, sometimes it is for the best. Let’s just pray whatever time it is, it’s a beautiful, trustworthy, pure and memorable time. XOXO

The First Times

This weekend, Baby M took advantage of a busy afternoon in the most possible way. I was busy in the kitchen and left her with the toys. After few minutes, I felt a little-unusual silence for a long time and the mother instinct hit me. I rushed outside the kitchen and saw our little girl making her first abstract art on the wall of living room. I called her name spontaneously to stop her but the damage had already been done. Being a very obedient child, she instantly offers me the crayon she used for her prototype design.

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Surprisingly, instead of getting furious, I felt a smile at the corner of my lips and called The-Baba to witness the first ever masterpiece of his “ladli betu”. We exchanged happy looks to congratulate each other for another achievement of our little girl.

This exchange of looks happens every time she does anything new; be it moving a hand in new style. L-O-L. Yes, we are those weird parents who celebrate our daughters’ milestones like no other child has done it ever before. We become the annoying parents who brag about her every act and learnings in front of our families just to ensure that they are updated about Baby M all the time.

The first times are special to every parent and for the first child, it becomes a little more special. Every other night when Baby M has slept after an hour or two sessions of pre-bedtime-play, we look at her and say “she is growing up so fast”. We never get bored of memorizing her every detail and get emotional every single time. It only seems like yesterday when we got to know about her existence. Sometimes the 9+15 months period of parenthood seems to have passed really fast, but upon recalling the path, it feels a journey of exceptional growth.

I remember when the first time we were looking at her little hands, we both had misty eyes. We even don’t know why? I hold those little hands which were covered in mittens and calmly lying on the sides. Now just a year later, those little hands can reach the very tiny dust particle at every corner of the house. Now those not-so-calmed hands can reach the top of kitchen slabs and dressing tables to drag objects.

The first time she tasted food in June 2017 was so exciting for us. She liked mango and didn’t turn away her face. The stupid Mama assumed that she won’t be a problem with food at least. Now, she sees me bringing her bowl of Happ (food) and starts saying no-no-no. The first time we actually wean her off to baby cereal was at the end of July 2017. I remember how The-Baba warned me to wait for him before giving baby cereal for the first time, so he could also witness the big change in his baby’s life.

On 23rd June, she learned to sit with a little support for the first time. Now she just doesn’t want to sit peacefully anytime, anywhere.

On August 5th, we were at The-Dada place when Baby M moved forward on her tummy for the first time. She crawled on her tummy on bed excitedly and came to both grandparents to collect their appreciation. The scenario is little changed now but her attention seeking behavior with grandparents is still there.

The first tooth popped out in November 2017. That night she was crying in a very painful tone and we had no clue what the reason was. Next day, I noticed a tiny shiny white tooth peeking from the lower gums. Now, she has six teeth which she uses very smartly when needed.

By the end of November, she started to walk with support and that was one big day of achieving another milestone. We kept waiting for three months for her to start walking and tried every “suggested” idea by beloved relatives.

Finally, she took her first few independent steps in March 2018 when we were visiting The-Dada’s place to celebrate Baby M’s Appa (cousin sister) birthday. And by the time I came back from Karachi last month, our little duckling was waddling around the house.

These are the major milestones I had in my mind roughly. Some are minor memories like calling Baba for the first time and saying it repeatedly till Mama became jealous. I literally used to ask her all day to say, Mama. The first time and every time she recognizes pictures and answer us correctly give a shiver of realization that she is getting smarter. The times when she scares us from the “Hot No-No” points. She has become the melodious parrot of our lives who is repeating everything in her alien language. For the record, I am her official translator to the world until now.

When a child does something new, every parent skips a heartbeat. It’s a mixed emotion where parents are happy for the baby’s developments but become sad at the same time as they cannot hold this beautiful time. I remember the first time we took Baby M to park when she couldn’t sit properly. We were waiting for her to start walking and play like other children in the park. Last weekend, when we took the big girl to park, she was reluctant to hold our hands and wanted to run after the kids playing around. I tell you, an emotional mother inside me was about to burst into tears. I was happy that this time has arrived within no time, but the thought that now she doesn’t need us to explore the park aches somehow. I never thought I would turn into a possessive-emo-mommy one day. At that moment, I almost visualized the future where she won’t be needing us in her life unlike today where she follows us around the house like a little duckling, wait for us outside washroom, comes running to us when gets hooo (hurt) and wants her mama and baba to witness her every little activity.

From the first time of everything, she is slowly becoming a little more independent each day. Watching her grow up, I miss my parents and feel their hearts more than ever before. Hey kids around the world, take care of your parents because they have taken care of you in the best possible way.

M Meets Them :)

The idea of going out with my little human always haunts me, even if it’s just for quick grocery shopping. The feeling is mutual among parent community excluding the lucky ones with extremely innocent babies.

Despite the challenging circumstances every time we have to face during traveling, I decided my happy place (Karachi) trip with little one. The main reason to take the courage to fly alone was to attend my best friend’s wedding. The other reason was equally important; taking the only (till now) and eldest granddaughter to meet her Nana, Nani (grandparents), and family in Karachi after almost a year. Behind these reasons, I secretly kept planning ME-TIME at the back of my mind (*wink*).

Being an over-thinker mom, the pre-jet lag effect was there to horrify me and I started to list down (literally) all the possibilities and strategies to handle her even before reservation of flight. The trips to Dada’s place were enough to prepare me for the upcoming destructions she can cause to new places. At our place, we have put away everything she can reach and destroy so I requested my mother to ensure the safety of all her vulnerable items beforehand.

The trip started quite nicely. At first, M kept sleeping throughout most of the flight and later on happily went hugging and smiling to everyone. The belated birthday surprise of Baby M was waiting for us at Nana’s place. My attention seeker baby got new toys, new place and plenty of attention from everyone; just a perfect situation for any toddler. Here, I saw the connection of blood which never fades. Watching the instant bond between M and everyone was such a relief and washed away all my doubts about her adjustment.

When you live far away (read: different cities) from your family, you try harder to maintain the connection between your children and your family, especially grandparents. Video calls might help a little to nurture the relation, but live interactions create the actual bond. This was another motivational factor to take the trip and it was definitely worth it as they got their granddaughter and I got some Me-time (giggles).

I had heard stories of how people saw the instant changes in their parents’ behavior with the arrival of a grandchild, now I finally have witnessed that too. It’s so amazing when you see an extremely unexpressive mother giving flying kisses to your baby and happily letting the baby interrupt her prayers. I remember how we were being scolded to even call her while she was performing prayers. Similarly, it’s jaw-dropping when a father with a strict image for two generations, is enjoying and smiling over the clumsy dance moves of his granddaughter. Sometimes, he did join her as well by moving his hands to cheer her up.

The main concern of baby M’s adjustment was down. Now, it was time for the wedding. I can say that my kid did add colors to the wedding by being destructive at bride’s house. Everyone was keeping an eye on the crawling creature so she doesn’t put anything in her mouth or goes to any dangerous spot. The dance practice of my friend’s family was badly interrupted by my girl as she kept attacking the laptop and speakers no matter how everyone tried to distract her. Baby M also enjoyed all the services from the bride-to-be until she got mehndi on her hands. A big shout out to the grandma for putting up with Baby M in all the function so I can be the bridesmaid peacefully. Some relations and times are so beautiful which we realize after coming out of the phase.

Meanwhile, I enjoyed my city after a long time by traveling in a rickshaw, shopping at my comfort places, eating my kind of food and laughing with my people. All this time, my mom asked me to leave her at home so she can spend some more with the little human.

Every time I land in Karachi, the instant energy which circulates through the veins is unexplainable. While I keep cursing the worse traffic conditions; I love to have rickshaw rides just to have the feel of the city. I do complain about the least cleaning situations but I do also love the fast food from the random restaurant, Agha’s Falooda and late night Limca+fries sessions at my favorite place. When people around the country are scared of Karachi’s terror situation, I always witness Karachites roaming in the city freely at even late hours.

I never bothered much about traffic rules and how people actually follow them before sitting with a man (hubster) who doesn’t take a wrong way no matter what; yes my brother is a pure Karachite and always did it casually. Anyhow, now the traffic conditions do bother me but the wrong way towards Samama shopping mall to NED University still feels the best achievement.

There is a perception of staring people in Karachi but trust me if you can go shopping in your most casual dress with no makeup and messy bun, it’s a blessing. No offense to Lahoris, but the pretty ladies do proper makeup and dress up just to shop at malls. For me, It was truly a homely feeling to shop in a casual way after months without feeling like a weirdo in the crowd. Please, ladies, enjoy these perks until you can. If the tharki awam still stares at you, baby you are beautiful.

Well, it was a Karachite’s love which always overflowed after every visit. I hope my baby would read this blog one day. She should know that everyone loved her being around during the memorable stay including aiyya, all the nano, nana, khalas, and mamoos.

She is almost months 15 now with 4 teeth, clumsy walking capabilities. Her favorite people to call all time are Baba, dada, dadda, aaappp, Daiii, nanna, and maa-moooo.

How could you mothers?

Hey mothers, sorry to burst your bubble but I have to tell you that you all are the most INSENSITIVE AND PATHETIC creatures in the entire world (maybe universe).

You carry YOUR baby for 9+ months in YOUR womb and bear all the pain, pp pain, and depression, belly bulge etc. but So what???? It is not too much. People around you suffer too and they are more experienced and expert than you can ever be in your life!

Mothers, you make so many mistakes and INTENTIONALLY ruin your baby body and nature. Why you do this women? *sigh*

Some observations just made it so clear to me. Let me make you feel bad too. So here we are:

  1. If your baby is tiny (less healthy than other babies in the family), you INTENTIONALLY did not eat to deprive your child of proper nutrition while you were pregnant. How cruel mom!
  2. If baby’s head is not a perfect circle (they measure it using a compass), you are so lazy to put little effort and alter the genes. How careless mommy!
  3. If the baby’s complexion is dark then you again showed such carelessness to beat the genes otherwise you would have eaten coconut, melons, and pomegranates to win against the genes. How sad maa!
  4. If you don’t understand the concept of regular “tind” (bald head) then you are just hopeless and every other person on street will cry on your stupid motherhood. Why mama why?
  5. Every child might attack food and everything but if your child does it, it is your fault that you did not eat well in pregnancy and made your child “nadeeda“. The world now can see your terrible face. Go and die, mommy!
  6. If your child has a habit of thumbsucking, then it clearly shows how indifferent your behavior is towards your child. You intentionally don’t feed the baby so he/she can help the people curse you for thumbsucking. What a mess you are!
  7. If a weaning child is not fat chubby baby and just a normal active one then it’s not the genes and his metabolism but it is you, the terrible woman who doesn’t feed your child enough and INTENTIONALLY makes him weak. How terrible mother!!

I have a list which can go on and on but the horrible behaviors of a mother cannot be unveiled so easily. This keeps getting horrifying as the child grows up and I’m not sure you all are ready to read so much truth about this evil creature on the planet. I hope the society will not lose the courage and keep correcting all the mothers about the right type of motherhood. Or. How about we make a universal pact among countries to make it mandatory for elderly persons to do this prestigious job.

Huh. Goodbye.